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Full Version: The Intro for an Android (Chapter One)
MechScape World > MechScape / Stellar Dawn > MechScape / Stellar Dawn Fan Fiction
ZarkonisR
To set the scene...

I was a dark and stormy night, and the rain outside was pouring in sheets. The scientists pondered over the body in front of them.

"We can rebuild him." The camera angle focused on the doctors, and the robotic device that was operating on the body.

"Faster." and a cutscene was shown of a man running on a treadmill, his legs and arms blurring.

"Stronger." The other scientist said, and a cutscene appeared, of the same man lifting a vehicle.

"Smarter." and the camera focused on the man's eye, and then proceeded to travel inside his eye, going past wires and circuits.

The cutscene ends, and the camera goes into a first person view. The screen is black, and then color gradually begins returning to the world. The screen "blinks" momentarily, and the camera moves from side to side. You begin to realize you are in what looks to be a hospital room, with a stainless steel tray hovering to the left. A man walks in, wearing a lab coat and a pair of round, thick glasses.

"Mr. Anderson, you're awake." he says, glancing at you, and then writing something on a handheld computer screen.
"Well, you have made some progress. Main system, power on." he says, and for a moment, your vision goes completely white. A few lines of text, like that in a command prompt, flashes before your eyes. A moment later, the vision comes back, and a visual interface appears, buzzes out, and then appears again.

"Can you hear me, Mr. Anderson?" The scientist calls out, faintly at first, and then the sound gets louder. You nod your head.
"Good.. Good. Now, try walking." he says. You begin to sit up, wobble a bit, and then stand, and begin to walk to the scientist.

"I am Professor Gilbert." He says, introducing himself. "You're probably wondering what's going on. I suppose I should explain." He says, and walks over to a big screen, tapping his computer tablet against it. The screen lights up, showing diagrams of a person, and various pieces of circuitry.

"You have been selected, Mr. Anderson, for an experiment. You were one of those on the Crater at the time of the incident. You were nearly killed, but we brought you back. You are no longer what you once were, Mr. Anderson. You have become superhuman. Look up here on the board." he says, motioning to the screen.

The view zooms in on the screen, the interface disappears, and you find yourself in a cutscene, demonstrating something called "The Android Project".
After a few moments, the cutscene ends, and you again find yourself in front of the scientist.

"So, let's turn on the speech..." Gilbert says, and punches a few keys on the tablet. A small piece of text runs across the screen, and says "Voice control activated.".

"It may take a bit of getting used to, but I'm sure you'll enjoy this project just as much as we will." Professor Gilbert says. "Follow me."

You walk into a black room, with a green stripe pattern running both ways along the walls. The professor again punches a code into his tablet, and the room turns to a training facility. A text bar appears in the middle of your screen, and says "Mission One. Training."

-To Be Continued-
ZarkonisR
Oh come on... Does nobody want to comment?
frusty.gif
ReXgor
Very nice job. The storyline could work well in an RPG, not to sure about an MMORPG however if it's just it's own single FanFic and not meant to be inside the actual game very well done. One thing is that you should get more into detail. You're sentence: "I was a dark and stormy night, and the rain outside was pouring in sheets" is pretty vague. It would've been great if you didn't describe the night and while the scientists were talking you could've mentioned.

"They a difficult time identifying and observing the body, for nightfall had came and rain with thunder was above them"

Also try to describe more of the setting and location. Where they're at... Are they on a metal parking lot, or on the side of a mountain.
ZarkonisR
Ahem... Quoth paragraph two, section three.

"You begin to realize you are in what looks to be a hospital room, with a stainless steel tray hovering to the left."

Need I say more?
TechnoBulldog
I guess it could work for an intro. I don't think it would be the best one for an mmo, but it could work, I suppose.
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