Eh... not my best work ever, please post criticisms and other comments below.
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I could hear the screams nearly a mile away. The rebels had taken to torturing us. Most of us were lowly grunts, we didn't know anything. If someone didn't have any information to offer, they'd gather soldiers up, pour gasoline on everyone, and throw a match on them. The executioners would laugh manically as they all burned to death. I began to cry, I could remember the terrified face of my close friend Alex, as the gasoline was poured over him.

"Please, excuse me. I need a break." I choked out.

"Of course"
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The first day was supposed to be easy; our squad was deployed in the western side of the city, to clear up the last of the remaining rebels there. Of course, in the eastern side of the city, fighting was still heavy. We could see the flames rising just above the skyline, nearly three miles away. However, the closest fighting to us was about a mile away. Our sergeant said we'd be okay. Oh, he couldn't of been more wrong.

Our eight-man squad was made up of four infantrymen, Alex, Laurance, Daniel, and myself. There were also two snipers, Jordan and Katrina. I used to have a relationship with Katrina, but as of late we've been a bit bitter towards each other. Jordan and Alex had a relationship going, but I didn't like her too much. Although I didn't like them too much, I was very grateful for them. They never traveled with us in a group, they usually stayed 200-300 yards behind us, with their scopes searching around us, ready to obliterate any enemy threat around us. Our final two members were our engineers, Zac, our sergeant was specialized in EMP blasts and deactivating bombs and mines. Our other engineer, Connick, specialized in anti-vehicle operations and explosives.

We spotted a squad down the street. The Rebels standard squad size was ten men, but we only saw five.

"Kat and Jordan, fire when ready." Zac ordered over the radio.

"Copy that." They both replied.

Two of them instantly disappeared. Their remains were nearly 25 feet away from the other three in the squad. The remaining rebels took cover and our firefight began. One of the enemy soldiers peaked around a corner. Almost instantly his head exploded, and his body was lying on the other side of the street.

Jordan yelled over the radio, "I call that kill!"

Bullets were being exchanged over our two positions. Connick began setting up a mortar position. We saw one running across the street, probably going for backup. Everyone began shooting at him, but none of us could hit him. Finally, a few bullets somehow made contact with him and his body ended up a bloody shred of skin and guts.

We still had one man left, we had lost him.

Zac yelled over the radio, "Where is he!? One of you two snipers, find that son of a bitch!"

Everything was quiet for nearly three minutes, when Katrina finally replied,

"I've spotted the barrel of his gun, at least I think. I'm going to try and shoot it, advance and when you hear me take a shot. After that rush in, and take him captive. He's about 100 yards on your left, just around a corner"

We started to advance to his position with speed. When we were about 30 yards away, we heard the shot and we saw some sparks ahead. We rushed around the corner to find the worst sight one could see in a war like this.

End of chapter one

Erm... something seems to of gone wrong when I was posting, give me a sec to edit.

Mmkay, fixed

This is actually a really a good story are going to make more?

Of course

oh wow.... ya just got akumetsu as a determined follower! Jus' don' go becomin' evil, an' I won' have ta kill ya!!!

Lol wow akumetsu you kind of obsessed with that manga?

I liked this! The attention to detail (believe me, it helps to use numbers and figures, as compared to "from far away" being used as a general distance) was a nice touch... though I would love to hear about splattering brains and torrents of blood (but then again, I've read one-too many horror stories from the dreaded realm that is Fanfic.net).

Hmm, why didn't I read this before?

It is quite nice! Gave myself some ideas and inspiration for my own story.

Did some editing, missed a few words when I was doing my initial. I'll write up the next chapter soon, seeing as people actually like it

Yeah, good read. I usually don't read but I am trying to get a piece of what people here have to offer and explore their talent a bit more. I am very impressed with this, kept me entrained cannot wait to read chapter 2 + :).

Lol... to tell the truth I wrote this up in... like 45 minutes.

Seems like I'm a bit more talented then I think I am.

Looks like I won't really have time to write another chapter for another two weeks, sorry guys.

No problem. Good read, no errors and easy to follow. Can't wait for the next one.

nice, i would like to continue reading this

I like the idea - you've set the scene & explored character depth adequately. My criticism would be that it lacks flow & substance - perhaps the use of a more extravagent lexis & indepth description of the surroundings would liven it up. Good work nonetheless!

A very nice read. I'd love to read more, but I understand that you probably don't have time with school starting and such.

Like some help from you guys.

I'm horrible at coming up with names, and all the names are people I know. If you guys could help me come up with more original names, it'd be highly appreciated.

Plus, when I turn this into my teacher she'll see the connection... lol.

agad! 250 more posts till 500.

Too bad that goal probably won't be accomplished any time soon.