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MechScape World > MechScape / Stellar Dawn > MechScape / Stellar Dawn Fan Fiction
zenmen5
Chapter one:A fiery meeting Terra year 3197

"We have 3 kama(kamakaze)-rouges at 59 miles and closing, sir!" Arvak Javensal shrieked. I froze, after the last attack 3 days ago we had lost 31 lazer guns and 12 plasma cannons, not enough for even one kama-rouge. They were extremely fast fast, their weapon was the engine, they would just overload the main reactor and you would get the power of 60000 of the best missiles in our arsenal on EP-12. We were heading back from a battle on AFE-312 against the same armada of outlaws.

Joran, my eldest brother prepped our cannon, while I aimed. Then suddenly the captain bellowed, "Hold your fire!" 'Are you crazy?!?!?' I thought, 'We have 2 minutes before these bogies blast your precious Mallikon into pieces!' I quickly whispered to Joran and my other brother Matik, "If we don't kill these things in 30 seconds, get in the escape hatch and bring 3 other guys into the pod"

"Turn on main diplomatic channel and lock on to their video signal." The captain ordered. The 3 other men notified of our makeshift evacuation were ready to jump out of their Command "cubicle" any second now. 10-9-8-7-6-5-
'Dammit!' The attackers went into hyper speed. All 6 of us jumped out of our chairs as fast as we could.
We were 3 yards from the entrance when suddenly there was a bright flash of light, a heart-pounding scream, and the charred body of captain Broderick Maviarm with a terrified expression on his face, dead, with what looked like 3 mechs, but mini, and more terrifying.
zenmen5
Oh, you can comment now.
Sorry.
Pliigi Pixel
I like it = p
Max
It's alright but I would like a bit more realism to it.

If something came at you 30 miles per a minute... you wouldn't last really.

I would love to see more backstory of 'WHY' and 'WHO'.
nerdboyxxx
Its alright, try get a bit more realism into it and chunk out the background of the story a bit, and it should be fine. Nice start though, you can chunk this out a bit more and it would be great.
JJ17400
pretty good :):) more backstory would be good
Osk
It's alright and I like it
zenmen5
Oh, sorry I'll try to sort this out in chapter 1B
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