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MechScape World > MechScape / Stellar Dawn > MechScape / Stellar Dawn Fan Fiction
Max
Here is the first chapter I have so far. The second chapter is in the works and will ONLY be completed if I have enough support and enthusiasm. If you want the next chapter, you have to convince me so. Great amount of input advised. cool.gif

Update March26: Corrected some grammar errors thanks to Zehperusbane! :D
Enjoy,
Max

Quick Credits for helping me: Darth Irule, Zepherusbane & Ren

Weapons of War

________________________________________________________________________________
"I find it ironic how weapons of war are created to keep peace."


For four days I was stranded on a planet that my ship crashed on. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. It was not the crash but the planet that we crashed on. This planet contained a portal to a living hell. The funniest thing about it is that you would never guess it until you were there. Appearances aren’t everything, and I learned that the hard way. I mean, really, the first two days were quite like a paradise in a dream compared to what happened next.

The thing about this planet wasn’t the look from orbit or what inhabited it. In fact, the creatures that inhabit this planet are the nicest little things you could imagine, well the ones that are sentient. The Pliigi are a quite novel culture. They are about five feet tall at most. What I mean by that is there are several species that make up the Pliigi.

For instance you have the Korlu which is an average height of about four feet tall. They are four legged creatures which have blue markings on their sides. Their head has two stubby horns that come out and are rounded off. Their face is the only part besides their tail that has hair on it.

Then you have the Cashu which are about five feet tall at most. They stand of two feet and have four arms. They have a blue skin and have mostly the figure of an average human being. Their eyes are dark and expressionless but their other features make up for this. I’ll explain that later when it comes up.

What I really want to talk to you about is my horrifying adventures there. Well, to some it would be the greatest adventure of their life. That is if you are insane.

The details of the Pliigi aren’t really significant in any way. Neither are the complications that led to our crashing as that is trivial compared to what we found on the planet. So I thought. I guess what I’m trying to get across is that this is absolutely huge It is like how big Einstein’s equation for the conversion of matter into energy turned out to be.

Anyways, when we crashed on the planet’s surface we were in a hot spongy lush jungle. Soon as the atmosphere was cleared nontoxic and breathable we opened the doors of our safety pod and scattered out into the small opening that was available to stand in.

The captain was relieved to see everyone alive and uninjured. The novelty of today’s crash landing technology. Everyone takes it for granted but you have no idea how much planning, money, and time it takes to make these things work even when they probably aren’t supposed to in the first place.

For instance this atmosphere on this planet is about twenty percent larger than what was on earth. It was also closer to the sun so resulted in a higher temperature. So the entry of the pod was just over the maximum rating for it. Either way what other options do you have? I mean you have cold vacuum space to rip you apart or take the chance to land on a surface of a planet with a chance of burning up in the atmosphere.

Like any other crash landing, we had nothing to communicate with because it was damaged or lost. Anyone that would be passing by this planet would have not even the slightest clue that we were on the surface unless they were knew we were. The only option was to go to the top of the peak as there was water rising where we were at the moment.

The location we landed was probably one of the least convenient places you could have landed anywhere. The water was about four inches deep and rising. The water warm like a hot bathtub you were about to get into to relax from a hard day of work.

The captain of our crew had us grab what little we had and move uphill leaving behind our safety pod. The jungle was very thick but we managed to find a path just big enough to get through. In some cases we had to use our knives to cut the knives. A few times we tracked back to find a better pathway.

The mud and water saturated our bodies by the time we reached the top of the peek. Looking over the peek it made it all worth it. You could see several other mountains in the distance covered with green soggy jungle. Down in front of us was a river that flowed towards a structure that stood at least several hundred stories tall. There appeared to be a breaking point in the jungle at least several hundred feet from the structure but it was hard to tell from the distance.

When the captain saw this he said that looks like the best place to go to for shelter. Either way the interest that was sparked by everyone would have attracted them there even if there wasn’t a chance of any shelter. By this time the rain was clearing up but being replaced by thick white steam.

Our group took a few minutes break to catch up on their breath. The thick jungle was hard to navigate through let alone just walk through. One in our group complained about his feet being soar from all the water and walking. My feet hurt a bit too.

A couple of minutes down the hill we started to hear movement around us. Not the usual movement of an animal minding its own business but like we were being followed. The captain noticed this before us and was holding his blaster in his hand. Two of the men next to him noticed next and grabbed their weapons as well.

Continuing on for several hundred more feet we came to a partial clearing. You could see the massive structure ahead of us. We were still several miles from it but yet we could still see it. It was a huge wonder how this was not seen from space. Being an engineer I knew our ship’s sensors were more than powerful enough to detect such a structure yet alone probably see the energy signature on the other side of the sun this planet orbits.

Our captain let us take a small break at this location. The other engineer of our group was talking to the captain about the structure explain the problem with exactly what I just covered. He expressed the same concerns but did not want it to get to everyone else’s’ heads.

“Our sensors are over a thousand times stronger than necessary to detect something like this!” protested the engineer, “I do not like the idea of going to this structure until we know more about it. Heck, for all we know this thing is dangerous and we could be walking right into our doom.”

Eventually this aggravated the captain enough that he decided to get moving triple time towards the structure as punishment. I was not really sure why he did this at first but then thought that this was to keep us from going insane whether or not we should go. I have read about many groups that have turned inside out just because of some simple argument or fear.

The jungle lightened up enough for running so some members of our team that were less in shape were starting to pant and fall behind soon enough. About this time we have covered at least two miles. The structure stood over us as we ran into the shadow of this massive structure. A few of us looked up when there was another opening in the jungle treetops.

Seeing that some of us were slacking behind, the captain told us to slow down and continue at a slower pace. For another hundred feet towards the massive structure we came upon some remains from scorched overgrown machinery. It appeared to be just more advanced than today’s present technology by just looking at the exoskeleton but was years beyond anything any human made yet on the inside.

The captain peered at it for a few minutes then said, “I want you two engineers to examine that. I want everybody else to hold tight and remain on guard. I don’t want to have any surprises.”

I immediately grabbed out my PDA and did some basic scans to see if it was even created by any human or species that we have met so far. That was sort of stupid on my part because I could obviously tell that it was very alien even in the standards of other species’ technologies that I have seen.

Doing more advanced scans I found out a lot of simple key information. Surprisingly the brain behind this machine was still quite alive and more advanced then what I could even imagine. Before I knew it, my PDA was compromised and the machine’s brain was already reprogramming it to its liking. I was not sure if I should bash the PDA to stop it or wait. Unable to decide, I waited.

The engineer next to me had out some tools and was looking at how the machine was put together. The damaged parts of the machine were what fascinated him the most and really was the only area where he could examine the inside. He tried to break off one of the armored plates but it remained there as if it was not even touched. It appeared that the plates were somehow magically sealed together without any welding marks or pieces such as nails, screws, or rivets to hold it together.

Looking back at my PDA I noticed that the interface was changed completely and now shown: Put in your headgear. I was startled by this and quickly pulled out my headgear as it was handily in my backpack right next to where my PDA had been.

I listened intently into to my headgear while looking at my PDA at the same time. It appeared that the machine was trying to figure out how to put its voice over the speakers in a way that I could understand. The text disappeared and after a few seconds I could understand what it was saying.

“What species are you? We have not come across your species before,” it said in a barely audible voice. The question was simple yet hard to explain. I thought for a few seconds considering if I should even talk back to this machine. It appeared to not be hostile so I decided to speak to it.

“We are humans,” I said quietly into my headgear unsure of what else to say. The engineer looked towards be wondering what I was up to. I ignored this as it appeared that I was talking to myself.

“Humans, I have never heard of that species yet I know of thousands,” it replied.

“Who or what are you?”

“We are the Garthori or at least that is what you can call us in this language.”

“Who in hell are you talking to?” The captain was in full shock that I started talking to myself or at least so he had thought. The captain’s face was the look of udder amazement.

With much more ease then last words, the Gathori said, “I need your assistance to repair my vital systems. I’m more then sure you are up to the task. Your species brain is more complex than that of many sentient species.”

“What do you need me to do? Your technology is beyond my understanding.”

“That does not matter. I want you to find this marking.” On the PDA a symbol like the letter R appeared. “You should be able to see this on my exoskeleton armor.”

I looked hard for this symbol on the machine but then noticed that some symbol was partially covered by some moss. I quickly pushed the moss off of the machine cleaning it slightly in the process. When doing so, the machine then said that I needed to place my hand on it fully. If I could have known what was about to happen next, I would have probably not have done so.

Both the captain and the engineer were looking at me wondering if I was going crazy or not. I’m sure others were looking as well but I wasn’t paying any attention to them.

Upon placing my hand on the machine the entire thing light up and you could hear a quite churn above the jungle’s noise. I tried to remove my hand but was unable to. My muscles would not obey. Within moments my vision went black along with the rest of my senses being pulled right out of my body.

I woke up the next instant that I could remember or at least thought I had woken up in a room that was lit by some type of light crystals. A voice that felt like it was right inside my own head said, “Welcome to the virtual world I have set up for us. Please don’t be cautioned. You are not harmed in any way.”

I replied in wonder and confusion, “Where am I?”

“You are in a virtual world that I have built inside the machine you have just touched. We call them mechs but you can call them whatever you like.” A mech appeared in the room smaller and moving around like it was the real thing. “You may be wondering what you could do to help me and that is you can repair me.”

“I don’t have the knowledge or the tools. My captain is going to be freak—“

“Time is relative and what might seem like an hour here could be nanoseconds in the real world.

“So I could spend what is like a lifetime here and yet only have a few seconds pass in real time?” I marveled at the idea at the same time.

“As amazing as it sounds it is not that eye opening as it is the speed at which we communicate. By simply your touch on me where you did I was able to get a direct line to your mind and communicate.” There was a small pause. “I need you to fix me, now I can simply upload the information to your mind but that would be destructive to whom you are. The Gathori are not a destructive people so I will do an alternative.”

“So how are we going about doing this?”

“Simple, I teach you like you learn in your schools. Though they are quite inefficient it does little to harm who a person is but actually makes you grow.”

“Wait a minute, how do you know about all of this when you have just met our species?”

“It’s not that hard, all of the information on your PDA and the sensors I am equipped with gave me more than enough to learn very much about you.”

“How do you know that you can trust me?”

“Does it look like I have any other choice?”

Our discussion lasted on for another good hour or at least what felt like another hour. We began to get into the parts and tools used to build a mech soon enough.

The thing about mechs wasn’t so much that it was built for total warfare but the fact of how simple it came to my mind. I was very certain that I was not being filled completely in on the loop. Something was up and I had to find out.

“Why does this seem so easy for me to learn and remember?” I suddenly asked right in the middle of instruction.

“I have already told you. I have connected directly with your mind. I send information directly to it. If I wanted, I could just upload all of the information to your brain at once but that is destructive to who you are as an individual. Why do you keep protesting?”

“I just can’t get around my head how easy this is compared to the fact that I almost flunked out of engineering school. I was pretty much the lowest in my class that wasn’t failing.”

“You give yourself less credit then what you should give yourself. Can we continue?”

I guess I should have protested on about why the mechs were designed for total warfare but I did not want to make this thing mad. That would be the last thing that I would want to do. Apparently I could be wiped from my mind and easily have someone else written in to take my place.

Instructions on mechs lasted for what felt like days. I was surprisingly not tired and it became quite interesting. The mech that we have come across had at least several dozen weapons and contained an imprint of a Gathori species as part of its mind.

The mech at full height was about four times the height of a human being. It had armed plating that was stronger than any diamond due to the shielding technology that was applied to it. With the shields on maximum power it could withstand the power of a nuclear blast and keep out everything from radiation to subatomic particles that were thrown at it, even most of the particles the size of quarks or light could be kept at bay.

The part that would appear to be the head of the mech if it were a human contained all of the sensors it needed. Other essential sensors were duplicated and put in other locations just in case the primary sensors were damaged.

The power of these sensors was staggering. I could pretty much tell how much gold was contained on this planet or how many of a certain species of planet there was on this. Surprisingly the structure of that massive building was undetectable. This made it even more puzzling to me then having our ship’s sensors not even detects this mysterious massive structure.

When I first was looking at the live sensor readings I thought this Gathori was playing tricks on me but it was eventually explained that that was exactly what he was investigating before he got shot out of the sky with no idea where the shot had come from or if it even had anything to do with the structure.

I could not get really any more out pertaining to this topic or get it to explain any details. “While Gathori are generally open to others, even with its own technology, we cannot divulge any information in which we do not understand fully ourselves. Considering the weapons technology that was used to shoot me out of the sky, I would highly advise that you and your species that are with you should stay away from that structure and get off this planet.”

Sure I was to believe everything he said but I did not. I guess you can call this my first huge mistake that I have made and will always wish. Why didn’t I take the blue pill? Later I learn that the Gathori would be the last species to lie in the universe, even if it meant suffering or death keeping it.

Eventually in due time I learned everything that I was supposed to learn. Well, what I was supposed to do was rebuild the damaged area where the mech had been shot. For how much I was taught I could have built another whole new mech and moved over the brain or even built the brain provided I had another Gathori to get an implant from. I assumed that this was a way of thanking me for my assistance. The Gathori are an over generous species.

The repair was actually quite minor. I only had to build a small power controller and replace it with the one that had been damaged. The armor was unnecessary to replace as the shielding technology would be plenty for traveling back to wherever it came from.

I was put back into the real world when I was ready. The experience was not as thrilling as my journey into this virtual reality. When I came back to reality, I lost my balance partially at first but when I regained it everything was back the way it was from what I could tell.

Now I had several choices that I could make. I could leave the mech there forever and continue on or I could repair it. I could only imagine what it could do to us when I repaired it. None of our weapons could even do so much as be fine soft dust brushing up against the armor.

I looked to see what was in my bag. I knew what materials I needed and I had them. I had more than plenty to make the repair several times. I just could not make up my mind if I should do it or not.

I started to consider telling the captain of everything in which had just happened but he would dismiss it that I was just plain turning insane. The last thing he saw me do was talking to me. So I settled for asking permission to attempt to repair the machine. I knew I could fix it but I didn’t want to sounds like I knew something more than what I just have previously know before I was taught everything I just had been in the virtual reality.
I
It's boring and drags on. You should have ended it with the disaster you spent most of the chapter describing. That would have been alot better then the wonky run-on sentance.


QUOTE (Max @ Mar 26 2009, 01:22 AM) *
The second chapter is in the works and will ONLY be completed if I have enough support and enthusiasm. If you want the next chapter, you have to convince me so. Great amount of input advised. cool.gif


This is what turned a perfectly mediocre story into a bad story; you killed the mood before you set it. You want input so badly? Don't bother.
Spire
Needs more descriptive language. It's too bland right now.
Topunit
QUOTE (I @ Mar 27 2009, 06:29 PM) *
It's boring and drags on. You should have ended it with the disaster you spent most of the chapter describing. That would have been alot better then the wonky run-on sentance.


QUOTE (Max @ Mar 26 2009, 01:22 AM) *
The second chapter is in the works and will ONLY be completed if I have enough support and enthusiasm. If you want the next chapter, you have to convince me so. Great amount of input advised. cool.gif


This is what turned a perfectly mediocre story into a bad story; you killed the mood before you set it. You want input so badly? Don't bother.

You didn't like it. If he wrote a whole book without asking for feedback, then he would have wasted his time writing something that people (you) don't like. It's perfectly right for him to ask for feedback. Why hate?

Max, I've only read a few paragraphs but I'm liking it so far. The idea is great. I'll certainly read the rest when I have time.
maddog1000
Yea you guys are hating i like it biggrin.gif
besides the first chapter isn't always exsiting.
I
QUOTE (Topunit @ Mar 28 2009, 11:54 AM) *
It's perfectly right for him to ask for feedback. Why hate?


Because he's not just "asking" for feedback, he advises us to give a great amount of feedback. That and we have to convince him to write more, as if he's doing the community a service. Also, I'm not hating, I'm just giving him the feedback he so desires.
Topunit
QUOTE (I @ Mar 28 2009, 04:34 PM) *
QUOTE (Topunit @ Mar 28 2009, 11:54 AM) *
It's perfectly right for him to ask for feedback. Why hate?


Because he's not just "asking" for feedback, he advises us to give a great amount of feedback. That and we have to convince him to write more, as if he's doing the community a service. Also, I'm not hating, I'm just giving him the feedback he so desires.

He is doing the community a service by contributing to the forums. He wrote it in his free time to try to entertain people and he isn't asking for money in return, instead he's asking for feedback. smile.gif

Max, have you posted this on the official RuneScape forums?
Darth Irule
QUOTE (Topunit @ Mar 28 2009, 12:44 PM) *
QUOTE (I @ Mar 28 2009, 04:34 PM) *
QUOTE (Topunit @ Mar 28 2009, 11:54 AM) *
It's perfectly right for him to ask for feedback. Why hate?


Because he's not just "asking" for feedback, he advises us to give a great amount of feedback. That and we have to convince him to write more, as if he's doing the community a service. Also, I'm not hating, I'm just giving him the feedback he so desires.

He is doing the community a service by contributing to the forums. He wrote it in his free time to try to entertain people and he isn't asking for money in return, instead he's asking for feedback. smile.gif

Max, have you posted this on the official RuneScape forums?

He wants to know how the community will like it so he knows if he should write chapter 2 and so on.
I
QUOTE (Topunit @ Mar 28 2009, 12:44 PM) *
instead he's asking for feedback.


QUOTE (Darth Irule @ Mar 29 2009, 08:47 AM) *
He wants to know how the community will like it so he knows if he should write chapter 2 and so on.


Oh, that's what he's trying to do? I...I didn't realize...I take back every mean thing I said. Please forgive me! :((((((((((((((((

Stop trying to explain to me what you think he's doing. Your statements hold true for any other author, but not him.
I've already explained my stance. If you still fail to accept what I've said, then enjoy your bliss.
Darth Irule
QUOTE (I @ Mar 29 2009, 08:59 AM) *
QUOTE (Topunit @ Mar 28 2009, 12:44 PM) *
instead he's asking for feedback.


QUOTE (Darth Irule @ Mar 29 2009, 08:47 AM) *
He wants to know how the community will like it so he knows if he should write chapter 2 and so on.


Oh, that's what he's trying to do? I...I didn't realize...I take back every mean thing I said. Please forgive me! :((((((((((((((((

Stop trying to explain to me what you think he's doing. Your statements hold true for any other author, but not him.
I've already explained my stance. If you still fail to accept what I've said, then enjoy your bliss.

Where did I say that you shouldnt be so mean? I was replying to Topunit not to you. If you want to argue more do it in private messaging no need to flam and spam this forum.

~~~darth irule~~~
Max
I'm not going through this again. Argue all you wish between each other on something that isn't even part of my story.
Dracul
Unlike some people here Max, i understand the style and method of story-telling you decided to engage in, even if you don't understand the style itself. I support additional chapters.

To be perfectly honest alot of the greatest books-turned-sometimes great movies have been written in precisely the style of your story.
Max
Thanks Dracul. I might consider going over chapter one again if I find the time before doing chapter two as there are a few things I would like to expand on as well and make it a little more obvious that it is important. This isn't such a high thing on my priority list but I might... idk...
urantis
it'd be funny if this was exactly what the creatures look like or how the game started off lol
Jess
I'de suppourt more chapters.

My favourite part was the 'time is relative' bit :)
Max
QUOTE (urantis @ Apr 6 2009, 12:17 PM) *
it'd be funny if this was exactly what the creatures look like or how the game started off lol
Jagex would be scratching their heads right now trying to figure out how I got inside information. Anyways, the Pliigi will not appear in the story really until MechScape is released. (I will also change the descriptions to better fit the Pliigi in MechScape.) Right now is the focus of the 'humans' to say... and 'mechs'.

QUOTE (Jess @ Apr 6 2009, 02:14 PM) *
I'de suppourt more chapters.

My favourite part was the 'time is relative' bit :)
That is a BIG part of my story/series.

Thanks for supporting. :)
JJ17400
More chapters yes.gif , Its pretty good
Gandaf007
I liked it, keep on going=D
zenmen5
Now, I have never seen a story on the forums get past pliigi or tons of space conquering, this brings in diplomacy and a brand new species, write more! Bravo! Bravo!
Pliigi Pixel
Its pretty good
Max
Thanks guys. I might start working on redoing some finishing touches with this chapter and release the next chapter if I find the time.
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