I apologize to you all now because i know with so little in years to recall upon, this story could be very very short. On the opposite side it really doesn't need to be long either, mainly because i have a secret writing skill. It's called truth, say it as it is. Everybody loves a bit of truth and I'll give you nothing less, at least nothing less than truth in bits that don't make much sense whatsoever. Now, by the time you have managed to get that bit of information in your head it will be time to move on!

This story starts quite far up in my chain of events, I would have been starting at secondary school, so that leaves me aged at 11 years. My blond hair already turning to an ash brown colour, my 'puppy fat' as my dear mother called it had managed to stay there leaving me with 'dog fat'. Maybe I've always just been great at eating, well whatever it was it was still there taking all the bullying with it into secondary school! I swear i managed to get my forehead slapped about 14 times a day on average for the first year and a half. Of course it didn't really help that others deemed it necessary to remind me of my first dreaded day of school where of course i had an upset stomach from the curry we had eaten the night previous, making my toilet breaks a little longer than it should ever have been. When i say toilet breaks, i suppose i use the wrong term really. It was more like having a toilet fixed to just about every orifice i could manage without making a complete mess. Your cringing thinking about it, i can say it was worse than imaginable.

I must say that first year and a half of secondary school is one i try and forget, it always seemed to me like a ranking for the army. The oldest kids were respected and had powers to get away with the worst kind of bullying, it always seemed as if you needed to befriend the stupid old hag of a teacher before she would let you actually stop the bullying. Stupid, stupid teachers and their obsessions. Towards the end of my school life it actually turned around, pupils have been hitting teachers and really showing them who runs the place. Of course that is just another story for a later date. Back to the bullying, because i was totally aware of just how much of a gerbil i truly was it made things easier. I soon learned to stay away from certain people, and when confrontation came i would just make very stupid remarks about their hairstyles. It was rather easy to offend them, simply because they lacked the brains to realize that i was really only doing what most people would call friendly teasing. Obviously telling someone they looked like they had gotten their hair cut at a quite stylish gay hairdressers was enough.

I never got downhearted about bullying, after all they were only stating their own opinions about my weight. It didn't ever really click in that they were being rather harsh towards the way i looked until my forehead hurt from it's beating. But anyway, i was rather conscience that i was fat to put it in a good term. It usually never bothered me, this might have been because of my permanent thoughts towards growth spurts. I was probably already about 5 feet 1 inch by the time I'd finished my first year. By the second year all the bullying had vanished, not simply because the older lot had left but obviously because weight turned to height. Quite a lucky gamble i took, a lot easier than exercise actually. I'm kinda hoping to get higher than 6ft 3, oh well i can always imagine....

Simply wondering just how lucky i was, i mean, it could have taken me a whole 5 years to shake off my weight. Not that it didn't come back, mind you! At least other things didn't come back to haunt me like the obsession with my neck. You see i do have quite a large neck and that i blame on my mother, silly turtle. It took me a while to realize i had to compliment my neck with something or else i was pretty much doomed. I then actually always bothered using my stupid collar for school and went with a hair trend. I grew it quite long obviously this did help me eventually although it must have been a funny sight to see a tall kid with fat and wild bushy growing hair. Must...remember....outcome....

Ah! I seemed to have managed to miss out friends from my little story, now you know that i really was a weird little kid you can learn about those great friends who for some reason managed to stick around my weird personality. These people, so odd, to find my own discussion of the most odd things like intelligent cheese and spontaneous combustion quite regular in their own hearing capacity. From my first friends like Robyn who moved up with me into college, to my other better friends which by the way i didn't ever shake off completely. Actually I'm pretty sure I'm on quite good terms with them all. Never really were one for breaking happiness. Anyway, within minutes of school life i'd found my equal, my 'brother'. Equal in almost every way but intelligence and looks, see, i was the handsome and very intelligent.... Scrap that, i was the very ditsy one. I'm not even going to bother commenting on my look, because you know exactly what a state i was.

I'd found my best friend, and his name was Tom. The ginger haired, big headed, safety liability. Better off known as 'The Carrot', or at least that was the name that stuck with him from his five years of college. Such good memories, not regular and sane memories. Ones that involve chicken dancing behind our tutors back, ones that no doubt would be in anybodies 'odd-moments scrapbook' if ever there was one. You can probably tell by now that the quirkiness was unbelievable. Heck, one would have thought that it could have been hormones. Actually i bet that probably was the damned excuse for half our actions. I'd like to see them try and makes excuses now that I've matured fairly well into a 16 year old, almost 17 year old. I would carry on with that sentence but as your probably almost finding by now my story is one that isn't so straightforward. If i told you that i had always been very mature for my age, you face would no doubt be one of shock. Well, believe it. Because it is all true, i matured from an early age. Sure my knowledge of the world was never massive but if i got a chance to go back and revisit that section, my maturity would never have been a problem.

So anyway, my friendships always stood true. But after friendship comes relationships, i guess it wouldn't be lying to say i has quite a few before college. I was almost an innocent a nice gal, obviously i had the internet and it made me 'different' to other people. Relationships never really had much effect on me, obviously when i was growing up my attention span was already worse than the average 2 year old. Which probably aided me not to think about relationships in the same way as other people. That did change after a while at college, no wonder to be honest. Who pays attention to school work anyway. Anyway, that is when i met Robyn's best friend...Meg-Yvonne! Okay, now i'm going to warn you...You might want to buckle in before you read the next bits to my life. It's going to get a whole lot weirder, i can't really be blamed for it either.