Here's my little short story I wrote. I know I made some mistakes, but I think it's ok. I actually did this for a writing assignment and got an 88 on it (90 is the highest you can get for some reason). Anyways, here it is. Feel free to critique or praise (I prefer praise :D)

NOTE: The main character's name was suggested by a friend of mine, and the antagonist's name is a name that another friend of mine jokingly calls himself. I had trouble thinking of names, so I went with these.

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Petroff was sitting alone in his cold cell; one of the thousands of identical cells found on the planet sized prison space station, Karamja. However, this Pliigi prisoner was not here to serve a sentence for any crime. No, he was here on a reconnaissance mission, to learn more about the prison facility and to discover more about their military when its leaders visited for inspection. Now, though, he had all of the information he needed. It was time to escape!

“This should not be too difficult,” he thought optimistically. After breaking out of his cell, he need only avoid security on his way to the hangar. Petroff was being held in the low security section of the prison, as they did not see him as a large threat. Escaping from here would not be very difficult at all.

Karamja Prison Station Section L5 had not been built with the Pliigi race in mind, but rather, the large and powerful Mortiga race. The twelve by ten by twelve cells had an air vent on the ceiling, and every Pliigi could easily jump fifteen feet. He had used this method of escape before, to explore the facility and to eavesdrop on the Mortigan officers. Of course, this time, he wouldn’t be returning.

On the other side of the station, General Jay Joshthorian had just docked in the hangar for a surprise inspection. A senior officer directed him to the nearest phone, and after entering the correct access code, Joshthorian began broadcasting over the intercom. “All officers lockdown your sector and fall into the hangar for inspection!”

“Well, this is unexpected,” Petroff thought to himself. “Well, I think I can incorporate the communists general into my plan.” Then it occurred to Petroff: if all of the officers were putting their sectors on lockdown, they would soon realize that his cell was empty. This encouraged him to hurry his escape.

Back in section L5, an officer discovered Petroff’s empty cell. He quickly alerted the warden, who sounded the alarm and put the entire prison on lockdown. “What is this?!” Joshthorian demanded. “A prisoner has managed to escape, General, sir!” “Post guards at the doors to the hangar and the doors here, at the control room. If he wants to escape this prison, he will head to the hangar, as it’s the only way off. If he wants to free the other prisoners, he will come here, where he would have complete control over the prison. Either way he goes, he will be apprehended.”

Listening to the wailing siren, the loud sound echoing in the air vent, he encouraged himself to crawl more quickly and quietly. Quiet was not an easy thing to be in a prison air vent, but he was confident that he would not be found. Crawling swiftly and silently, he soon arrived at a point where the ventilation shaft split into two paths. Hearing distant noises coming from the left path, he chose to veer off in that direction, as a hangar for a place this large would never be devoid of activity.

Half an hour later, after much searching and nothing to show for it, the Mortigan General Joshthorian received a message from his government ordering him to return immediately. “I must be going now. Good luck with your search,” Joshthorian said and left the control room for the hangar. Unknown to him, at the exact same time, Petroff was crawling out of a floor vent and was running for the nearest ship he could find. He climbed aboard the ship and made his way to the front, but stopped when he heard two voices coming from coming from in front of the pilot and co-pilot seats. “The General will be here any time now. We should get the ship ready,” the pilot stated. The co-pilot nodded and began to fire up the ship. Te engine roared to life and then subsided into a low hum as the ship’s silencer began working. It was at that time that Petroff decided to make his move. He walked right behind both seats and flicked them both in the one soft spot on their hard skulls, causing them to faint. He then removed both Mortiga from their seats and set them in the corner of the cockpit.

“Prepare to depart immediately,” Joshthorian announced as he climbed the ramp and sat in his seat. When he sat down, the ship’s ramp retracted and its airtight doors closed. Moments afterwards, ropes sprang up from behind the General’s seat, binding him in place. “What is the meaning of this?!” he demanded. Petroff cleverly replied, “I’m sorry, Sir, but there has been a change of plans. We won’t be heading back to command. No, we have a new destination.” Joshthorian began to struggle violently, but the ropes held tight.

The Pliigi escapee walked into the cockpit and sent the pre-typed access code. Momentarily, a voice was heard over the speaker, “You are clear to launch,” and launch he did. As he flew through space, he thought about what had just happened. Not only had he escaped, but he had also captured a Mortigan general, who had a vast knowledge of their military’s plans. This would help the Pliigi rebellion greatly. However, the most important thing was that he was free.

Pretty good. I enjoyed it. However, I see a small similarity in our stories though.

Protagonist: Pliigi
Antagonist: Mortigan General

just thought i'd point it out. its kinda funny. didn't know if this was an accident or what.

I honestly have not read your story. I would be interested, though. I'll look for it.

Pretty nice story. You deserved the 88 out of 90 you got on it .